Authors J.B. Stevens and Chris Hauty discuss the opening for Hauty’s thriller novel “The Devil You Know”.
The First Line is a recurring column by J.B. Stevens. Mystery Tribune readers (you) get an inside look at what goes through the author’s mind as they craft their opening.
For the column, an author presents the initial sentence of their story. Then J.B. writes his impression of the passage. Next, the author discusses what their intent was with the line. To keep it interesting, J.B. writes his section before looking at the author’s description. Finally, you decide: Did the author achieve their goal?
*****
THE DEVIL YOU KNOW, the first line:
When he walked into the living room, Martin Barnes’s roving gaze stopped abruptly on the exclamation point of blood splattered across the white tree skirt that never looked like snow anyway.
J.B.’s thoughts:
Our POV character, Martin, seems observant, and like he’s seen it all and is not too impressed. He doesn’t appear overly invested in the condition of this particular blood-spattered item, a tree skirt. I’m thinking this is not his tree skirt. Martin is familiar with the tree, so he is not a cop fresh on the scene. He is also not shocked by blood, so he probably isn’t domestic help.
I’m predicting Martin is some type of bodyguard or protective agent and the about-to-take-place adventure involves an abduction.
Aside from my predictions, the writing is good. It is propulsive and I’d read more. I’m curious to find out what happens next.
Chris’s goal with the line:
A novel’s first line wears several hats at once. It is a fortune cookie and somewhat cryptic predictor of things to come. Also, it is a first kiss—not too sloppy, not too chaste—that will seduce the reader and lure him/her to the next line. And, finally, the first line is an instruction manual for the book, informing the reader how he/she should prepare for the storytelling to come.
Chris nailed it! He did a great job, and I can’t wait to read this book.
The first line of THE DEVIL YOU KNOW promises a violent thriller—mystery and buckets of action—with the mention of blood. The language—”roving gaze,” “exclamation point,” and “white tree skirt”—is sexy and aggressive. Finally, this opening line has a voice—”that never looked like snow anyway”—that conditions a reader for a cynical and slightly snarky omnipotent narrator.
Naturally, I hope the first line prompts the reader to move on to the next line and the one after that!
J.B.’s response:
Chris definitely conveyed what he was going for—aggressive, snarky, a touch cyclical—Martin is pitch-perfect. Also, I really appreciate Chris’s explanation regarding his overall thoughts on the special duties of a good first line. Finally (after a quick email back and forth), I’ve discovered Martin is an officer serving in a protection role.
Chris nailed it! He did a great job, and I can’t wait to read this book.
*****
About The Book
When a justice of the Supreme Court is killed by the police officer assigned to protect him, the country is shocked. Hayley Chill’s superiors suspect the assassination is part of a major conspiracy.
In Maui, where one member of the Supreme Court owns a vacation home, a busload of children is taken hostage with the justice’s death as ransom. Together with a deputy US marshal, Hayley embarks on the monumental task of rescuing the children while also protecting the justice. But with danger around every corner and no one to trust, has Hayley finally bitten off more than she can chew?
