Terry Connelly, author of “People Like Me”, has previously published short fiction in Noyo River Review, CWC Literary Magazine, and INK Babies Literary Magazine, among others.
*****
Daniel dodged around the slow-moving shoppers blocking the aisles of the grocery store. He’d never come to this one before because of it’s high-scale clientele, the hoity-toity snobs who’d look down on him: the guy from the projects. But his daughter was ill and this was the only all-night store.
He’d hoped to quickly get in and out, but over and over someone was in his way. Daniel tried to suppress his anger, but he felt it growing between his shoulder blades. He saw it with his eyes, a crimson glow that mocked him, teased him.
Daniel touched Cassie’s head: it wasn’t hotter. He tucked his jacket a little tighter around her tiny body. It was the best he could do.
He wondered why so many people were out after midnight. He figured it must be something rich people did, shop with their best clothes on, just to be seen.
One woman repeatedly got in his way. He’d run into her in the medicine aisle, where instead of letting him get what he wanted, she’d given him that ‘who do you think you are’ glare. The one where all she sees is a rumpled homeless guy. Then she moved closer, as if she owned the shelves.
He wondered why so many people were out after midnight.
She was there when he tried to grab strawberry jam. He’d bumped her arm, but instead of stepping aside, she’d slowly picked up a jar and studied the label. Glaring at him the whole time.
Daniel really wanted that jam, pictured it on his toast, tasted it going down, but he had to keep moving.
With his fingers turning white he zipped around the corner, the cart leaning to one side, his ancient sneakers slipping on the smooth tiles. The wheels came down hard, jarring Cassie. Knowing she’d cause a scene if she woke up, wanting this, wanting that, he slowed down.
Daniel dropped a can of chili in the basket. A can of corn. Potato chips and pretzels. Milk. Pancake mix. Bologna and a loaf of bread. Because the jam was calling him, he went back for it.
He’d love a good steak, an ear of corn and a baked potato, but there was no money. Instead, he’d fry up the bologna and slap it on a slice of bread. And call that dinner.
He touched Cassie’s cheek. holding steady.
By the time Daniel headed toward the registers, he was seething. He knew things would go wrong before he’d parked his rickey truck. There’d been a string of robberies, all committed by scroungy-looking men. And he fit the bill: faded t-shirt, stained jeans and a gun tucked under the waistband.
Only one open register with a line a mile long. Daniel hated lines.
When he’d applied for his landscaping license, he was hustled all around the building until a kind woman stamped his form. He’d just lined up a few clients and then his wife fell ill.
He’d dropped everything to care for her. He lost those few clients, his only source of income, and then missed four house payments. Then it was gone as well.
A woman was taking forever to bag her own groceries. Daniel wanted to help, but considering his appearance, he knew he’d terrify her. Plus he would have had to leave Cassie alone. Not a good idea.
A new line opened, but three people jumped over before he could get his cart moving.
Now a guy was digging deep in his pockets. If Daniel could, he’d pay the bill just to get the man out of the way.
His anger turned to rage. To calm himself, he squeezed his temples and counted to ten. When it failed to work, and his patience had run out, he shouted, “Open another god-damn register.” His words, his angry words, caused Cassie to sit upright, eyes wide open.
“Sorry, baby.” He regretted what he’d done when he saw her glazed eyes.
He was a proud papa, a good daddy. He might know nothing about how kids learned, but when Cassie was reading at two, he figured she was smart. Now, at five, she had mastered her times tables. How many kids could do that?
He never took his daughter out this late. He’d tried to see her, but his mother-in-law wouldn’t let him. Frustrated, he’d been casing the house for a week, hoping for an unlocked door or window. Tonight, he’d found a way in.
He’d found Cassie asleep on the floor, tangled in a ratty blanket. He’d scooped her up along with the blanket and her favorite giraffe.
Daniel had cradled her to his chest and ran for the truck. She was so hot that Daniel knew she was sick. He buckled her in and tucked the blanket around her as best he could. And then covered her with his jacket.
Daniel intended to take her to the apartment where he rented a couch, but he had to change plans to buy medicine to bring down a fever.
The line wasn’t moving. A tall woman donning strings of necklaces was arguing with the clerk about the price of strawberries. She insisted they were on sale: the clerk said not.
Daniel ground his teeth, but between his growing rage and the hum of the fluorescent lights, he was failing miserably.
Cassie mumbled something as she sat up. He placed his hand on her cheek and in a soothing voice said, “We’ll be out of here soon.”
Daniel hated the candy next to the register. He figured it was every parent’s nightmare. He knew that when Cassie saw the display, she’d try to grab whatever her fingers could reach.
Daniel grabbed her hand when she’d picked up a bag of gunny bears, forcing her to let go.
“That hurt.” Tears pooled in Cassie’s eyes.
“No candy tonight, baby.”
Daniel startled when a high-pitched tone sounded all around him. Even when his own phone rang out, he didn’t know what was happening until someone said, “Amber Alert.”
His heart skipped a beat. Had his mother-in-law called the cops? Were they looking for him? He was so far into the line that he couldn’t back out.
A stylishly dressed woman said, “That’s the girl.” Her finger shook as she pointed at Cassie.
The pressure in Daniel’s head turned into a rhythmic pulsing that sent him rocking from foot to foot.
Daniel panicked when the man in front of him turned and snapped a photo.
“I’m calling the cops,” the man said.
“It’s none of your goddamn business, but I’m her father,” Daniel said.
He would have left right then, but he’d worked so hard loading his cart that he refused to leave empty handed.
“Mommy.” Cassie reached toward a stocky woman behind them. With her pixie-cut and freckled cheeks she looked a lot like Cassie’s mother. Except older, but Cassie wouldn’t know that.
“I miss her, too.” Daniel wiped away tears that dripped down Cassie’s cheek. He wrapped his arms around her skinny body. “We both miss her.”
The flickering lights and the accusing voices triggered a migraine. Daniel squeezed his eyes to ease the pain. If there had been corny music playing, that would have made things even worse.
“Excuse me,” an alto voice to his left said.
Daniel turned to see a woman dressed in the store’s uniform shirt.
“What’s the problem?” she said as she looked into the cart.
She was young, maybe twenty at most. Her wavy hair hung down her back. When she tossed her head, it swung out a good five inches. Daniel would have asked her out, but his heart still ached.
“I just want to pay,” he said.
The woman grabbed the cart’s handle and waving the other customers back, pulled it out of the line.
“It was almost my turn.”
A woman suddenly appeared next to the employee and said, “That’s him on the poster. And on the Amber Alert.”
Daniel had seen those posters. With his shaved head and pencil-thin beard, there was a bit of a resemblance. But that guy had a raven tattoo on his neck whereas Daniel had none. That guy had a dark blotch on his right cheek, while Daniel had a splattering of freckles. Even though they looked nothing alike, Daniel realized all they saw was a man with a sick little girl.
He was used to those looks. Storeowners always followed him around, making sure he’d stolen nothing. And when he’d applied for a job moving lawns, the supervisor said he wouldn’t hire filth. On top of that, he’d been mugged at least twice.
He’d begun carrying. Daniel hated guns, but if attacked, he’d defend himself and Cassie. Especially her.
He reached behind and touched the cold metal. He’d never fired a gun, but how hard could it be to send out warning shot? Knowing the gun was there helped him think.
“He’s that kidnapper,” a bass voice boomed. “Look at your phones. I know it’s him.”
“Cassie, tell them you’re my daughter.”
“He’s my daddy.” Her flushed face lit up with the most beautiful smile.
The manager glanced from the poster to Daniel. She swept her hand in the direction of an office near the front. “Come with me, sir.”
Daniel shook himself all over, like a dog getting rid of water. He lifted up Cassie, grabbed his jacket headed toward the exit. “Forget it. I’ll go somewhere else.”
When he’d taken Cassie from her grandmother’s and seen how filthy her pajamas were, he hadn’t thought it through. All he’d intended to do was grab her and run. And even when he’d noticed the bits of fluff stuck in her tight curls, he hadn’t done anything about that either. Nor did he try to cover up the bruises on her arms and legs.
He understood his mistake now.
The manager tried to block him, but Daniel sidestepped her. He wanted to hurry, to get away as quickly as possible, but as soon as the doors swished shut behind him, a gray-haired security guard stood in his way.
“I need you to come with me.” A gold stitched Sentinel Plus was sewn onto the man’s sleeve. His name tag said Forester.
“Forester, I haven’t done anything wrong,” Daniel raised up his right hand, palm showing. He stepped to the left, but Forester blocked Daniel’s way.
“Stop. Right now.”
Daniel feinted to his right and took off running, heading for the darkest part of the lot. He saw a line of hedges along a fence, and as he turned, he heard a staticky voice. Forester had called the cops.
“They’ll be here soon.” Forester was breathing hard as his heavy footsteps slapped against the blacktop.
Daniel glanced over his should and saw Forester’s breath creating a gray cloud. Daniel ran faster, assuming he would be able to get away from the older guy.
Forester’s words trailed Daniel. “I’ll tell them you cooperated,” he said.
Daniel had seen too many videos of innocent people getting killed. If he’d been alone, he wouldn’t have cared, but he had Cassie to protect. When he spotted a break between the hedges, he scooted into the hole.
“Why are you running, Daddy?”
He held her tight against her chest. “We’re playing a game. We run, he chases.”
“Like at school?”
Daniel nodded even though he knew she couldn’t see.
Forester yelled. “SWAT’s coming. Don’t want to mess with them.”
Daniel scooted along, keeping his back to the chain-link fence. When the hedge ended, Daniel had to choose between escape or the authorities returning Cassie to her grandmother.
Shivers ran down his body at the thought of that woman getting his child. Thinking that his best odds were to find a hiding spot, he took off. Just to let Forester know he meant business, Daniel called, “You’ll be sorry if she gets hurt.”
Daniel panicked when he realized the impact those words would have. That they authorized the cops to shoot. Seeing lights ahead, he took off, hoping someone out there might help.
The guard, panting, refused to give up.
Daniel entered this new parking lot and seeing no one, knew his only choice was to hide. To come up with a plan.
The Garden Center was still open, so he dashed through its wooden gates and slid behind stacked bags of manure. He collapsed onto the cold cement and tucked Cassie into his lap. He whispered into her ear, “Hide and Seek.”
When he felt her shiver, Daniel checked to make sure she was fully covered by his jacket.
The only sound was the buzzing of the parking lot lights. Daniel hoped Forester had given up the chase, that he could sneak away before the cops got there. But when he heard those dogged footsteps and saw the guard’s flashlight beam scanning this way and that, Daniel’s hopes dissolved.
The scream of sirens filled the quiet space. As their sound grew louder, a picture of the cops charging in, guns cocked filled Daniel’s brain. It would be one thing if they killed him, but another if they hurt Cassie.
With that Amber Alert, Daniel knew he would be presumed guilty. And when they saw a guy in dirty clothes harboring a filthy child, the cops would feel justified to shoot.
“Things might get scary.” He laid the gun on the blacktop next to his thigh.
“I don’t get scared,” Cassie said. “Except for spiders.”
Daniel smiled. “This will be worse than spiders.”
“Let the girl go.” Forester had found Daniel.
“You need to understand,” Daniel said, “my wife died. Do you know how it feels when this little girl is all I’ve got left?”
“I’m also a widow.” Forester stood silent except for the creak of his shoes.
Daniel pictured him rocking back and forth, wondering what to say.
“My name’s Bob.”
“Well, then, Bob, why don’t you go home and leave us be?”
By the sound of Bob’s voice, Daniel figured he was a nice guy, maybe the kind who loved his grandkids.
“It’s cold out here.” Daniel heard a scratchy sound, most likely Bob rubbing his arms. “Let’s go getting something hot to eat. Maybe a sandwich?”
Daniel shook his head. “You know I can’t.”
From somewhere behind Bob, a guttural voice shouted, “Keep the guy talking.”
Daniel sighed. The cops had arrived. He leaned to the right, just far enough to see into the lot. He caught a glimpse of a flashlight beam as it bounced off the cops’ shields. Even in the dim light, Daniel saw that they’d formed a line, a line through which he’d never get through alive.
He knew they’d kill him. Take no prisoners, just like on television.
He’d run out of options, and so he told Cassie that he loved her, squeezed her tight, then turned her around toward where Bob still stood.
“Talk to the cops for me. Tell them my daughter’s sick”
Bob pushed air through his lips, huffing like a horse. “Tell me, what’d your wife die of?”
“Cancer. I was there. Watched her die.”
“There’s a solution here.” Bob’s voice rose in pitch. “Give me your daughter. Once she’s safe, I’ll return and walk you out.”
“You know that’s not how this will end.”
“How old is she?”
“Five.”
Bob shuffled his feet, making a quiet scraping sound. “Why’d you kidnap her?”
“I didn’t,” Daniel said. “I’ve got custody, but while my wife was dying, my mother-in-law took Cassie home. She wouldn’t even let me see her because she thinks I killed my wife.”
“Did you? Hurt your wife? Or your daughter?”
“I swear I never hurt anyone.” He moved Cassie one step closer to Bob. “See how dirty she is? Not one goddamned bath in a week.”
The guard’s radio crackled, hurting Daniel’s ears. His migraine hit like a blow to his head. He scrunched his eyes, then opened them, but the pain was still there.
Bob shuffled close enough that Daniel could make out the man’s beat up shoes.
“What’s your name?”
“Markson. Daniel Markson.”
“Daniel, you have to trust me.”
Daniel shook his head. “It’s too late for trust.” His fingers curled around the pistol grip.
Someone barked a command and then Daniel saw that the cops were closer.
“Where do you live?” Bob asked.
Daniel punched a manure bag. “On a couch.”
“I can help you get housing.” Bob paused a beat. “I’ve got connections to a shelter for families.”
Daniel wanted to believe him, he really did. But then the line of cops moved so close that Daniel could see the parking lot lights glinting off their shields.
And then Bob’s hand moved down, throwing Daniel off. Was the guard reaching for a gun? Did guards carry guns? Daniel felt that Bob wouldn’t hurt him, but those cops, well, they sure would.
He laid the gun on his thigh. “I’m not a kidnapper. Or a wife beater.”
“Listen, Daniel, you’re making me a bit worried. Are you wanted? Armed?”
“The only illegal thing I’ve done was park in a red zone.” Daniel’s voice softened. “I just want to take my little girl home with me.” He wondered if Bob could really help him. Help Cassie, too. “I’d waited a week, looking for a chance to get Cassie. I bet you don’t know how that feels, your daughter kidnapped by her grandmother.”
“Did you file a police report? Call Child Protective Services?”
“They both said they’d look into it. But neither of them got back.” Daniel’s legs cramped, so he rocked back a bit to relieve the pressure.
The cops’ voices sounded as if they were right behind Bob. Daniel pictured them restless, their faces scared, scared of him.
Daniel took a deep breath. He nodded. He wanted to live for Cassie. But if someone had to die, it wouldn’t be her.
He pushed Cassie another step forward.
Bob held his hand out. “Come here, Cassie.”
Cassie whimpered and shook her head.
Daniel placed his hand on the small of her back. “Go ahead, baby.”
“Don’t want to.”
Daniel’s hand shook as he pushed her again. He almost called her back, to hug her one last time, but time had run out.
As soon as Cassie stepped into the light, Bob cradled her to his chest and hustled away toward the line of cops. From the gentle way Bob held Cassie, Daniel knew he’d made the right choice.
Daniel knew he’d never see her again. That even when the truth came out, he’d lose custodial rights because his mother-in-law would paint him out to be an evil man.
Daniel cocked the trigger and raised the gun to his head.
“Come out with your hands up,” that guttural voice said, way too close.
*****
When the sound ricocheted off the Garden Center walls, Bob dropped his head into his hands. “Oh, my God. Daniel, what did you do?”
“Daddy.” Cassie’s voice broke the dark night.
*****
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